Monday, January 23, 2012

Let it go....

This week I made a wonderful choice for me! A choice I had been contemplating for weeks and weeks...months perhaps. I kept feeling God telling me that NOW is the time but was stubbornly holding on giving him all the excuses I could muster for why I couldn't possibly take that next step. I mean I dug in and got down right creative. I'm sure he had a good laugh at my reasoning but looking back it was utterly ridiculous.  I mean, i couldn't possibly do "that" would I stay in touch with far away friends and family? On the other end of the spectrum I was thinking this really would make my life and my journey productive. If my search isn't about pleasing other well then why wouldn't I let go of this one thing that has really REALLY been strapping me down and holding me back from becoming who I am becoming. Why wouldn't or couldn't I take this step. Was I going to fall prey to the same thing that happened when I was urged to starte dreading? Would I seek others opinions first and let their qualms determine my destiny. Could they possibly know more than I what was best for me? Would this be considered second guessing God? Quenching the Spirit. Quite frankly, yes. That is precisely what I would be doing should I let my inner fears and outer influences direct the direction of my decision. I need not their confirmation. What i need is to step in whole heartedly and jump into doing what my feet are determined to do despite my head trying to logic it's way out of it. Let me tell you I feel so so so much more at ease, my head is clear, my mind is fresh, my body is active. My kids are OVERJOYED! They love having mommy back and back full time. What was this big, huge, monumental, life changing step???? I quit facebook. Laugh if you will but rest assured I'm laughing too, because now NOW i am happy!

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